Tonight’s Thoughts

Will there ever be a day that I will not think about you Michelle? I think not and not sure I want to. I miss you so much.  I’m sorry you aren’t here for Jamie’s birthday, but on the other hand I remember how thrilled you were when you became a Grandmother. When God blessed you with three grandsons you were in awe and I think you learned a new kind of lov.. God is good.

I remember all the trips to the hospital and all the pain you were in your last few years. I can hear you say God has a plan. I remember one of your favorite things to do was to lay across my lap and have me rub your back even when you were a teenager.

I can see your big blue eyes and hear you laugh at the top of your lungs You had a wonderful sense of humor and I’m so grateful that you did some writing because I got to see a whole new side of you.

Because of you my relationship with God was enhanced and I thank the Lord for our time together on this earth and I praise Him because I know someday I’ll see you again. I can see you dancing in the clouds and hear you singing now.

I love you.

Mom

Laughter, Hugs, Giving to Others, Gifts My Friend Andrew Shared Even in Rough Times

She sat in the big vacant building alone, tears streaming down her cheeks. Her friend Andrew had just left and had told her the bad news that he didn’t have much longer to live, that he had cancer.

She knew better than to ask the Lord why. She trusted the Lord and knew that he always worked all things out for the good of all his children that loved Him even though it didn’t always appear that way. At least there was a tinge of peace because she knew Andrew felt the same way she did.

Andrew was a big man with a gentle spirit. He had a wonderful warm smile and hugs for all. I guess if you knew him you would just have to call him a cuddly bear. When someone was in pain he would tell them to give it to Jesus and then send them off to help someone else, which was exactly what he would do when he was hurting and in pain, in fact he was on his way to help someone now.

The reason he had come to talk to me that morning is because he was struggling about telling his son about the cancer.  They had just gotten back together after years of separation due to alcohol and drug abuse by both Andrew and his ex wife. Andrew and I prayed together and he knew he had to tell his son because he didn’t know how many days he had left and we concluded they should have as much quality time as possible.

Andrew and his son were both hit hard at the news of the cancer, but Andrew was grateful that he was sober and was able to see that his son was placed in a good home that was not drug filled but had a spiritual environment.  They both spent Andrew’s last days living them to the fullest, doing things they wanted to do, playing, laughing a lot but mostly they were on the front lines helping others because that brought them both the most peace and joy.

When Andrew went home to be with his Father the church was packed with people. Andrew was just one of God’s street people that did his very best to serve the Lord to the fullest in his recovery. He touched so many lives people were amazed. I am sure if Andrew would have known how many lives he had touched, he would have said it was not me but it was the Lord Jesus Christ. Praise Him.

Andrew, you are loved and you are missed. 

Easter Wish Repeated--A Letter To My Daughter!

This is one of the first piece I ever wrote and I thought it is time for it to re run because the special lady could probably use another boost and I know she tends to forget things, just like her mom. This is my Easter card to you even though it is the second time around.

Love you, Mom.

This is for a very special person who needs a lift today. She has been going through some very rough times lately but through it all she has shown strength of character and she has hung on to her faith in God, and continues to rejoice in Him. I am so very proud of her. Ah if only I had half of what she has I would be a much better person.

Dear Michelle,

I just wish I were more poetic and better able to express myself and my feelings. I am grateful for your forgiveness of me and my actions, and for that I thank you. Having you in my life has been one of the most perfect and spiritually enhancing parts of my life. I don’t regret one moment of our lives. Please don’t be too hard on yourself, my moral standards were not the greatest and you weren’t always raised in the greatest of environments. I will make no excuses for that, I know that God has forgiven me and I know He has forgiven you. I must say when God’s word says the reason my people suffer and die is due to lack of knowledge, I so understand that today. I believe that the greatest devastation in one’s life is emotional and I know that I caused great emotional harm in your life and for that I am truly sorry.

I know that you are having and really rough time right now and rightfully so considering your current circumstances. Try hanging onto Matthew, Chapter 5 and Psalms 91. I pray that His peace and His joy will totally overtake you.

Most of all I wanted to let you know how much I love you and how proud I am of you. I pray that you will let God carry you through these troubling times.

Love

Mom

P.S It is really hard for me not to preach, must come from my Grandmother.

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Can An Attitude Adjustment Really Turn Your Life Around?? Worked for Me-It Can Work For You Too!

She waited quietly at home alone for the love of her life to return. He has made her so happy. She tries to do everything she can to keep him happy so they can live in la-la land forever and ever. What would she do without him? After all she needed him to make her complete. Without him she couldnt be happy and surely she could never survive. Her children would have to go hungry and without clothes or a decent place to live if he wasnt there to take care of them. She must be careful not to crack the eggshells when she walks and please above all dont mention the elephant laying in the middle of the living room floor. Is this person you? I used to be that person with the wrong attitude about everything. Do you want to be free from the delusion that if you manage well in your life you will have satisfaction and happiness? I can only share with you my experience about how my bad attitude was changed and pray that maybe someone, just one person can grab hold and have their lives changed. Today I live a wonderful life and have spiritual, emotion and physical health that I had never even dreamed of. Didnt know it existed. I wasnt raised knowing about those things. I was raised to survive.

I hit such a low in my life that I had to surrender to the fact that no matter how hard I tried; no matter what I did it was not going to change one thing in my life. I wanted better for my life and the lives of my children but didnt know how to get there, all my efforts failed. In my desperation I cried out to the Lord, someone I had long since forgotten about and was sure He had written me off because after all little girls who play cards are really going to make Him angry, another of my many wrong beliefs, I did not know the depths of His love or about working out my salvation. I didnt know that He wanted to be my very best friend, that He wanted to take care of me and that He was ever present and was watching over me and my family, calling to me, saying Ill be here when youre ready if you dont die first. I am the one who truly loves you. Renewing my relationship with the Lord was the first step to recovery for me.

Over the years I have spent many hours renewing my mind. I studied books that have given me clear cut directions on what my part in all these changes need to be. Ive spent years learning new ways to live my life by practicing how to change my attitude and see things from a new, healthy perspective. I had to learn how to change my actions from unhealthy ones to healthy ones. Ive learned how to turn negative emotions into positive ones and most of the time my intellect takes precedent over my emotions today. Thank God. There is still some damage in some of the relationships in my life as a direct result of me reacting as opposed to responding. Im praying for healing in those relationships and I know that God will have his way no matter what I think or want. Praise Be to God.

If you want to take a new direction in your life ABOVE ALL DO NOT try to take the path alone. Trying to learn to live a spiritual way of life alone could be dangerous and could create more havoc in your life. Even Solomon sought direction and his gift was wisdom. Think about it. Ask God for guidance and direction, to lead you to healthy Christian people who have been successful in turning their lives around and who have a relationship with the Lord and a foundation for living that is unshakeable.

One of my favorite websites is Purpose Driven Life. Pastor Rick Warren has daily readings written in laymans terms. His sharing comes from his own experiences and the wisdom he has acquired while studying the Bible and being taught by many others.

I am in the process of learning about another person named Teresa Ortiz. She also has a web site called In Seasons Ministry. I find her to be very encouraging and full of wisdom also. I know she helps a lot of people, even some very close to me. I thank God for people like Teresa.

The most important thing for me to always remember about all the changes in my life is that it would not have been possible without the relationship I have with the Lord Jesus Christ today and the help of many people who cared more about helping others than they did about themselves. They were more than willing to share their experiences and bare their soles and for that I shall be eternally grateful. Thank you one and all.